Rhyming poetry is not my favorite. For some ungodly reason it forced itself upon me today. Vexed by that fact as I am, the words still came. Many I bit off in bitter realizations, knowing I must write forward and continue dealing with the tears of my own making.
In some ways, I suppose being forced by my brain to abandon my favored free-verse is in itself some kind of poetic justice. I know people will tell me not to mourn my mistakes. I know all that crap. I even understand the emotional truisms they will be pursuing for me.
But this landscape of deep emotion defines my life. I walk here often. The real issue (for me) is I walk this place alone. I’ve only found one who could walk with me, but that thought only leads to attempting to find answers outside myself. I’ll stroll the intemperate lands of sadness and withdrawal on my own.
When words fail me, that is when I know I’m both lost and on my way back. This quandary serves as both warning and beacon – warning to get myself back together, beacon in that I love a writing challenge.
This post is written more for myself than anything, hence the disjointed, far-less-than-laser-focused rambling. Writing stands as one of the most pure methods of personal therapy available to us. I’m availing myself of its strength and wisdom today.
I think I’m gonna be sad, I think it’s today…yeah
Today’s poem. Off the heart. No edits. Raw. The rhyming comes free of charge…
Those big brown eyes would grow
Huge marbles made of love
We’d laugh and play “Big Eyes!”
Noses touched, she always won
Years tumbled past ups and downs
Life eroded our special time
She locked herself away in sadness
Trouble brewed – responsibility mine.
God I love my precious daughter
She – closest to my heart of hearts
No pain this father ever bears
More difficult than when she departs
She walks my soul each day, each tear
I cry for all I’ve never done
There’s no way to reach I fear
Damage done this lovely one.
I miss her smile, her quiet ways
Her special way she talks
Could life be bearable with her gone?
No. The man I see – he balks.
There is no treasure more complete
No bond of love to cling unto
More mighty than my daughter’s love
So soft, so gentle, so true.
Mind you men of modern age
Your daughter will slip away
You’ll sore regret your busy life
When she leaves you cold one day.
You’ll wish to play “Big Eyes” again
You’ll wish one moment more
To tell her she owns your very heart
Each day forevermore
Heed sadness and tears of pain
You’ll never wish to feel
Make every effort to show your love
If you haven’t – pray to heal
No man should see his daughter give up
No man should ever cry
For the love he wished he’d shown her
For his love will never die.
Love can bloom as aching pain
Should she leave this world – alone
All his tears will never bring
His precious daughter home
That’s all you fathers really need
Forget your busy days
Find that vein of your daughters love
Cherish it now – and always.
Once upon a little life
I loved her golden hair
Today, across from her empty bed
All I can do is stare