Toxic relationships front-loaded with negativity and a ‘nothing-is-good-enough’ environment literally sucks the strength and life out of people every day. The perpetrator stands as the easy target here. The larger issue, however, comes down to the perpetuator.
Forget alpha dogs, A-types, and all that crap. Once you extricate yourself from a toxic relationship (not a simple nor easy task), your larger, more fundamental battle becomes cleansing yourself from the sludge still dripping off your emotional skin.
Think of that toxic relationship as swimming in a constant sea of sludge. Thick and overbearing, the scum soaks into your emotional pores and seeps in to poison your heart and soul.
Once you extricate yourself from the pool, the sludge still clings to you. A simple rinse job will do nothing. You need to purpose to cleanse yourself – exfoliation. You are now the one carrying the toxicity. Don’t fall into the trap of beating yourself up for not recognizing you carry their toxicity in your life. You had enough of that kind of treatment already.
There’s also the dangerous mentality of “they win if you allow the toxicity to overtake you” type of thinking. On the surface I agree. But more deeply explored, you play the role of victim with that thinking, using someone else as a motivator to fix what is now an issue with… wait for it… YOU.
Yes there are patterns set by toxicity. Instead of ‘blaming’ the other party, step up and work to recognize their residual influence. The more you see their sickness in you, the better the opportunity for YOU to take control of your life.
Your exfoliation substance will always be some form of positivity. Toxic relationships rob you of self esteem, confidence, joy, laughter, peace, energy, and a long list of other desirable attributes. The great truth always remains that you may regain these wonderful life-inspiring traits.
Your work, your effort, your main focus should charge toward recognition of the toxicity still clinging to you, and applying positivity to eradicate the issue. Forget blame. Wasn’t blame something you suffered under all that time? Why adopt the attributes of someone who made you suffer? Rise above that garbage, seize control of your life and sever the tethers of toxicity.
Positivity will ALWAYS enhance your life. ALWAYS. Many times the most positive act you will ever make simply requires you to walk away without looking back. Take a few minutes to envision that statement. See the toxicity in the other person. Rather than engage the toxicity and filthy yourself, better to stride into positivity and a bright, more joy-filled life.
Emotional exfoliation always requires YOU. You must step up. You must take control. You must choose your best path. I’m telling you, make the choice that keeps you out of victimhood.
Stop blaming them. Start championing yourself. Make sure you recognize when their traits enter your thoughts, actions, motivations. This may become your toughest challenge. The longer you stayed in the environment, the more difficult the task of separating their views of you from your views of you.
Realize this process takes time. Effort. Sometimes struggle. Whenever you feel defeated, flee to positivity. Whenever you wake up, sprint to positivity. Whenever you lay your head to sleep, dream positivity. In your waking moments, embrace positivity.
Then notice one day how free you stand in this world…and smile! 🙂
Choose wise your path of life.
Choose well your inner psyche.
Choose inspiration and motivation.
Choose to live in your skin, your heart, your soul.
Choose to fly on the positive breath from your lungs.
Purpose to live life empowered, engaged, enthralled.