I think about tomorrow and it wakes me up.
My subconscious will not allow sleep to endure.
I hash over things to do and fears to quell
When my true desire begs to enjoy life and relaxation and smiles and kisses and love.
I chase down scenarios of potential messes.
I pummel them into place so I don’t have to lie scared of what may be.
I note sunshine filtering into my day and I forget light’s incredible inspiration
As I fence with aspects of dread and nervousness.
I play scenarios in my brain of future conversations.
Repartee that will never happen as well as
Past atrocities that were mere stutters
Weighted against the mural of my life.
I see so little of what lies literally in the moment I breathe.
Most of what I see and hear and feel
Grow phantom roots from pasts and futures
That never were or will be.
Wind tickled leaves,
Shadows defining the bright joy of day
Jerk me gently into the only reality we ever experience as humans…
Yes, we trick ourselves into mortgaged dreams and leveraged possessions.
We plan and scheme and toil for such,
Yet life reveals its power in those moments we choose to step out of self-imposed fantasy