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blowing_windI once walked with a carefree boy
Morning grasses splashed with dew
Sunshine tickled our senses with joy
Crisp autumn air cut new pathways through our lungs

Our teachers became the elements of the day
Our teachers handed knowledge to us as long as we ate of it
Our teachers led us all the way to school
We knew what we knew, we hungered for more

Years roll by, we transition to lessons from man
Loaded with heartache, pain, analytics
Joys became diminished, watered, milky
Clarity of purpose more muddled, more ominous, more dire

The boy and I trudge through pain and unhappiness
We stroll through the fights we’re told should be ours
We feel hollow, unfulfilled, burdened, lost
Darkness surrounds our world, our lives, our heart.

Teachers come in all manner of form
What we learn emanates from what we grasp and hold
What we release often damages us more than our retention
My folly arrived as that boy faded from my life

This young pup embodied the very best of me
He knew gentleness, kindness, he knew what grew healthy thoughts
He joyed and excited in life and love
I felt him ever slip away in quiet neglect

Our greatest teachers should never be identified with pain
That fallacy delivered many a blow to my connection with the boy
Each difficult lesson should come with the knowledge of who delivers the lesson
For when their agenda gets revealed, their sickness identifies itself

I learned through abuses the best of me remains strong
I learned through darkness, whistling works
For when blackness encloses and overruns your soul
What remains becomes sightless, listless groping for direction

The best of me lies in that boy’s loving heart
He walked with me, guided me to eye-sparkling wonder
We could identify our world in shades of joy
We could love our world in high spectrum passions

Sorting out our professors, experience sees our misguided ways
Believing outside ourselves led us astray
We feel the darkness of other lost souls
We travel as empaths who know their destitutions

Sometimes blackness, sordid layers of debauchery
May indeed be a professor of merit
Yet until we identify the sickness of the one teaching
We suffer their lessons and lose connection with our strengths

Many follow sick twisted teachings
The beatings those teachers hand out cause the loss of one’s soul
My inner boy knows better and better
Identify your teacher, reveal your inner soul

Inner child gets a bad rap by most who hear the term
Jaded they are, who cannot sense the value
Of the wonder of innocence mixed with spectacular life
The boy, my best part, still walks my path through life

As we reconnect, he shows me my professors
The abuser, the darkness, the tempter, the control freak
The hater, the liar, the weak and infirm
Each identified, my inner boy offers me choice

Embrace the darkness and reap what you love
Is it hollow? Soulless? Controlling? Distasteful?
Fleeing darkness does no good, the running only propels you deeper
Reveal the face of the darkness which haunts you. Reclaim your life

Sadly, this knowledge does not get embraced by all
Damages overwhelm, darkness engulfs, hope fades to tattered memory
Bitterness, stagnant roots rot in the mire of memory
Many embrace the tired mantra of surrender

My abuser teaches me strength, not in hers, but the source of my own
Darkness teaches me discretion, not to place myself too often as its ally
Light teaches me joy, yet not to work to stay there but to identify my path
Love teaches me its value, not placed solely in others, but first myself

Stripping off the darkness of life from the best of me
Reveals the boy I loved so dearly as a child
Each layer of life’s sludge and filth I manage to smooth out
Delivers me one step closer to who I desire to live in this life

My penchant for nostalgia gets me lost in regression
Yet I love where I’ve been, who I’ve loved, how I got here
Nostalgia becomes dangerous when we live there too long
I step out and I see a world still awaits me

My inner boy, that magical side of wonder and delight
My best and most important trait knew so much more than me
Could it be when we’re born we hold more connection to truth?
Could it be the world in which we live teaches us away from wisdom?

Ah, I hear the accusations of “dreamer” and  “naivete” and “non conformist.”
I know these voices. They’ve shouted down the boy in me all too often.
People who’ve become mired in their own sordid “knowledges” of life
Their darkness primary to their agendas looking to find camaraderie in soliciting others

The best of who I am still walks, still breathes, still thrives, when we beat back the darkness of our professors and shine our light on their faces and we clearly understand their detriment to our path so we might dance our way elsewhere, find the tune we crave, and explore who we continue to grow into

Darkness and abusers trap us when we believe their own illness
We get bombarded in this world with other peoples’ sicknesses
Our cure? We choose not to allow others to dictate our path
We blaze our trail, we explore our surrounding darkness with the light of our inner child. Our innocence was indeed our strength. The world champions the stripping away of innocence, showing us, screaming at us, “See?!!” See how weak you were in that innocent space? See how simple it was to lose? See? You cannot regain it?

Yes you can. That innocence represented only a spark of your higher self
This was the germination of where you will place your feet
And where you place your feet becomes a choice of courage or surrender
The best of me chooses morning dews, sunshine, and identifying my teachers…

Can you remember?
Can you re-adopt your inner child?
Can you reveal your teachers for who they are and move forward?
For me, the answer is always yes, but the true question is always…will you?