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I wonder…

I wonder why people don’t use their own sites and even Facebook pages as a dating site. Let’s wonder together for a moment. Have you peeked at dating sites? They’re a hodgepodge of D&D – demanding and desperation.

The demanding aspect goes something like this. A person states all the things they like (and often things they do not like). They pretty much demand a potential companion be onboard with said likes/dislikes. This is done, most often, with an air of desperation and statements about past problems with previous mates.

To a discerning eye and heart, there truly is no appeal in those scenarios. Then, of course, the smorgasbord of pictures you get to “thumbs-up-or-down” as though you are shopping for humans. The degrading aspect of this visual Russian roulette brings the sense of desperation even more to the forefront.

Why not place something out there on your Facebook page? Why is it such a disgrace to be single? You may play around all you want in the anonymous world of online dating, but heaven forbid you go out on your social media and simply state, “Hey! I’m single! Who wants to meet for lunch?”

I suppose that could be perceived as borderline desperate to some, but why not be honest about your situation? One thing I’ve discovered is this: I don’t want to have to acclimate someone to my very full life. Cold fusion explosion does not work well for me. Why not move forward with people who know you? People who know your life.

Meeting someone organically through your everyday life would be far more meaningful and comfortable than attempting to explain it all to perfect strangers. Ahhhh, but that’s the draw, isn’t it? Those perfect strangers who DON’T know you. Who DON’T have a clue about who you are. The thrill of the chase and anonymity!

I still wonder why we don’t put out our “single-ness” within our own social media outlets. I’ll use this post as a toe-in-the-water thing…

I wonder…

How do cruel people consistently get away with their evil, damaging lives? My observation is that the most aggressive personalities who impose great damage on others, especially those closest to them, walk around decrying how much a victim they are. I find this disgusting.

And who do these bitchy, maligners attack most fervently? The soft-spoken. The empaths of this world. The people who actually feel with a depth and intensity completely foreign to the foul, hard-hearted, vindictive souls. These creeps, male and female, wreak their havoc, then whine that they’re the ones damaged.

These people too often “win” because it takes a strong heart and mind to stand against them. It takes someone who will weather the bullying. Someone willing to take the abuse and stand their ground. My experience has brought me some disappointing insights.

The abusers rarely get caught. They endear themselves as victims to key people, then work their evil. I wonder why people do not see through their horrid disguises. The narcissists are taking over the world. Too many of us fall prey to their bullshit and actually give them free reign to damage others. I see this every day in the world of counseling. A counselor who loses their objectivity and makes excuses for a narcissist before the narcissist even speaks is as guilty of promoting evil in this world as the ones actually dispensing the pain.

In some ways its a shame that a good ass-whipping is no longer in vogue. The most damaging weapon on earth is words. I’m a wordsmith and I recognize this as truth. Without words, no one would be angry enough to push the button on atomic bombs, war, murder, and all other manner of sickness.

But what about the permanent damage words have on lives. When you give a person carte blanche to abuse a child with their nasty vocabulary of pain, you damage this world’s future in ways you could never fathom. I will forever wonder at how the cruel people are allowed to foment pain and then blame their abuses on others. A self-perpetuating disease of humanity, this will be the downfall of man. Our extinction lies on our very tongues.

I wonder at how this is not seen by the world as our most immediate and relevant issue as a species.

I wonder…

Why does loneliness hurt so much yet the addition of another person is never the answer? I do know the answer to this in some forms. Yet, feeling this does not allow the knowledge to dispense much comfort.

This is somewhat related to the desperation listed above in dating sites. But I’m wondering about something more internal than the external “Select-A-Mate” dating sites. I’m talking about how you must learn to be self-sufficient with your life. That you must be your own companion. That you must learn to love yourself enough that another person is not critical.

I get it. I actually understand and agree with the philosophy. Yet, putting this into practice does not always work when the inner demon of loneliness pops up unbidden. Not that anyone would call on loneliness to come. Is that a thing? Do people actually do that?

So much of life gets spent on fighting with our internal demons or dying by their hands. By dying, I mean pieces inside us which deteriorate and collapse under the weight of debilitation our psyche’s hand us. Often touched off by others, we do an amazing job of becoming walking shells of who we could be in this world.

This is why the narcissists’ damages bode ominous for our entire race. I know a mother who would rather punish a child into suicide rather that be kind and loving. I watch this play out as a sick, horrific movie except there are no actors, only pain-filled people damaging and dying. There’s even a gallows humor available, but the reality is so stark, so pathetic, the humor would completely lack any self-redemption at all, making it nothing but more pain to be heaped on the mountain of damage.

But I digress. Loneliness hurts. I believe it hurts most as a child abused by a callous, self-righteous parent (or two) who stand on their deluded self-importance and cannot see and dispense love to the child who needs nothing more than that bond of togetherness of child and parent. Damage a child very young in this area, and loneliness will always drive their fears and pains as adults.

I wonder why people who consistently damage others cannot see their culpability. I suppose they were so damaged themselves, that ability already died within them. Again, this will destroy the human race eventually.

A wonderful public speaker said from my Inspired Mic stage a couple weeks ago this wonderful statement: “We need to become addicted to love.” The crazies, the loons, the militant desecraters of others with their hateful mouths will never subscribe to this. They will forever use words of hate to drive their points in the media, in person, and in private.

I wonder.

Will the people who dispense their hate through their horrible words EVER recognize their folly? My observation is absolutely not. No counseling, no court, no positive example has ever moved the people I’ve observed toward a positive mindset. They continue to slap around verbally the ones they’re supposed to love with no regard for future consequence.

I wonder.

Will I be able to hold my own against the onslaught of hate and deception? The battle is fierce. Holding my own positives become more of a challenge with each assault. That appears to be the way of such people. They keep attacking until they beat the life out of you. The fact they verbally, emotionally, and spiritually beat the life out of children disgusts me more than the attacks on myself.

There’s no help for us under attack. There’s no legislation against these verbal bullies. Laws do not address their assaults. Laws to not protect anyone from them. All the laws of this land protect against the physical transgressions, and even then, the laws fall short of any real protection. We will wake up one day and see that the narcissists have taken over the world.

I wonder why so few people are seeing this?